Sunday, October 30, 2011

missed connections

Is there such a thing as a "missed connection"? That moment in life where you meet someone, and it seemed "meant to be" but wasn't? I mean I'm a believer in God's plan so bumping into Mr. Right at the grocery story but passing him to never see him again tells me...he wasn't Mr. Right. So why do such meetings occur? What is the point of me meeting someone you'd like to get to know better - only to never see them again, probably because God is keeping me from any future hurts. I'm so confused as to what I'm supposed to do at this point. Sometimes I want to meet a bunch of Mr. Wrongs in order to really meet Mr. Right. Dear Mr. Puffy Blue Jacket, You came as a surprise in the night, providing me with nothing but a pleasant conversation. Amidst the craziness of a bachelorette party and the downward turn of being inebriated, you were still a gentleman to walk me home...well back to the hotel and expecting nothing in return. At least I think so. Thank you. And thanks for stealing a quick kiss from me...I was shocked but not even mad about it. LA girl a la Madonna

Monday, August 29, 2011

skip the draft

I realized that I have a bunch of blogs that are just sitting as "drafts" in my dashboard. Why I never finished a handful of my thoughts beats me. Probably got busy at work...or started to re-think my words to put on "paper". When I think too much about what I'm about to type...that's when I get "pen shy". I start thinking, "Oh goodness I don't want anyone to overanalyze me," or "Will I offend anyone?" Stupid me forgets that I am free to speak my piece and not have to care what my audience thinks. Either I win you, or I lose you.

Speaking of winning, I'm in the middle of a game and I'm curious if I even want to win. I told myself that hard work only go to the deserving, and how the heck do I even know if this time it qualifies? To win, you must have a proper strategy and focus on the prize. I guess my problem is, I don't know the prize - so can I truly know if I want to win?

I can play this out on paper over and over again...but I know it'll end up as a draft...again.

So maybe this time around I'll say screw it and go big or go home.

All players are in - it's game time.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

and so it begins

Lent is never meant to be easy, but it wasn't made to be impossible. This year I strive to find the simplicity of my life and peace in the silence. Today's gospel asks us if it's worth our soul to gain something of this world. My past few months have been filled with anxiety as I try to figure out the next steps of my life. I allowed myself to get sucked into the glory of a promotion on my time and getting frustrated at God for implementing His time. I began to lose focus on His call for me to serve Him first. Work comes secondary and His blessings will (and already have) shower a thousand fold. I do not want to gain the riches of this world at the risk of losing my soul. Rather I desire to gain the riches of heaven and allow the Lord to bless me here on earth as He deems appropriate :)

Friday, January 28, 2011

getting past the first chapter

Unplanned: The Dramatic True Story of a Former Planned Parenthood Leader's Eye-Opening Journey across the Life Line

Lord, give me the courage. I have to mentally psych myself up to read this book. I'm ready for the unraveling of the truth...yet afraid of learning the truth. I'm so excited to finally understand the mindset of those who are immersed in the "Planned Parenthood" culture. Ever since my own personal encounter with the "other" side, I have only wanted to learn how to LOVE them more. I was not ignited to hate or fight. I want to better understand. I want to know how to pray for them. I want to know the root of their hearts and minds. I want to be wise so then the Lord can use me to reach out to them in the "darkness." I use so many terms lightly not because I'm being "politically correct" or "non-judgemental" (though I do try my best to not judge). I use certain terms lightly because I want to remain steadfast in love. Tough love is one thing, but borderline judgemental is another. Lord, give me the Spirit, Wisdom, and Courage to push forward with this movement for LIFE with LOVE. Let us live in TRUTH.