intense love

The past few days have been spent with family.  I took a trip out to Dallas to go visit my cousins and their two kids.  Never have I appreciated youth more.  I left that place more tired than I've been on any trip but so fulfilled.

There are many highlights, but one I can't get out of my head is the love from the children.  Christopher is now 9 and Evelyn 2.  These guys are at such an adorable age.  When in other families, the gap may cause the two to not get along - it's so opposite here.  Christopher and Evelyn love each other sooooo much.  Too much sometimes to the point where Evelyn starts swatting lol.  It's too cute.  I wake up surrounded by that love.  Nothing feels better than hearing someone whisper "Tita Maricris, wake up," then jump in your bed to give you a big hug and kiss.  That kind of love is so natural in these two.  When Evelyn "hurt" tita, she remedied the situation immediately with kisses.

There is an intense love in these two that came from that same intense love given by their parents.  That's where they got, and it inspires me more and more to have that for myself someday.  Not that I didn't want a family or kids, it's just that I would get distracted easily.  I know that's what I want for myself some day.  My own kids jumping in bed to wake me up and just love me for the morning mess that I am.

But at the end of it all, that intense love that Chris and Evie's parents shared with them came from their parents and their grandparents.  You know where it all rooted from?  God's love.  I'm blessed to come from a family that knows and understands that.  We love as He loves us and that is just so fitting from Sunday's gospel.  Love our neighbors as God loves us, and that is with the most intense kind of love.  Of course it comes with patience and practice, but once we're aware of God's love for us, we'll learn how to pass it on.  Just as the kids learn from their parents, we learn from our Father.

specifics

It's taken me some time to put my thoughts together for this entry because the journey is only beginning.  Without giving too much away, the Lord has really been hearing my specific prayers.  I've always been told to be specific, but never have I truly experienced it to the tiniest detail.  Not that I was testing God at all, but to keep me grounded I really asked Him for something as specific as these blue roses and this blue cloth.

There is a bit of a twist though.  With these two items, I received exactly WHAT I wanted...just not WHEN I wanted them.

During my St. Therese novena, I asked her for a specific kind of rose.  Why blue?  Because I always see every color around, even purple.  That said, I really wanted to be set aside as someone special in her eyes and asked for blue.  I was flexible and told her, Mother Mary, and Jesus that even if it was a drawing, a photo, or my friend Rose wearing blue...I'd just know they were there guiding me in my journey.  Sure enough, my friend was wearing bright blue pants that I've never seen on her before!  That made me giggle, but for sure I knew God was hearing me.  He has a sense of humor!  However, God had other plans.  It only took a few more weeks, but not too long ago I saw a bunch of blue roses offered to Mother Mary.  Look at how BLUE they are!  So beautiful, and sO meant for me at that moment :)  God said, "I hear ya. Just wait and I will give it to you."

During my 33 Days to Morning Glory, I prayed for this specific blue cloth as well.  I want to share more, but I'm not ready to reveal anything yet.  Let's just say that everything I wanted - to the tiny deets - came to life.  It didn't come on the day I wanted, but I saw that God was already preparing for me to have it months before I even prayed for it!  Sorry, I know it's all so cryptic sounding but I'll have to explain at a later date.

I got the cloth the day before I got the blue flowers, so you can imagine how overwhelmed I was feeling with God's love and presence by presenting to me the two things I've been praying for.  Yes, it was a week or so delayed but I got what I wanted and at whatever time He had planned for me :)  Not sure why He waited, but I'm guessing it's to show me that 1) He hears me 2) He knows the details 3) It all comes together in the time of His choosing.

I just need to relax, be patient, and keep praying about other matters of my heart in order to nurture and nourish the desires He has planted.

I definitely have more things to pray about, so we'll see how and when it all comes to life.

Jesus, I trust in You.

Diary of a Princess

Dear Prince Who Always Thinks About Me,

Thank You for Your note.  At first, it was hard for me to read, but as the weekend went on, I realized I had to accept the truth.  You love me and honestly can't stop.  I feel undeserving, as my past sins have made me unworthy of such love.  I don't know how to make it right sometimes, but You keep seeking me and I can't hide anymore.  I, too, think about You day and night.  I wonder how much You care about the little things I go through or think about, but You always seem so interested.  No matter how far I fly or how much mileage I put between us, I know you always lead me back straight into Your heart.

For this, I thank You.  I love You.

Love,
Your Princess who accepts Your Love

Psalm 139: 17-18
"How precious to me are Your designs, O God; how vast the sum of them!  Were I to count them, they would outnumber the sands; when I complete them, still You are with me."

into the future

When my dad purchased this now "vintage" Bears jacket in 1985, little did he know that his daughter (who was three years old at the time) would get it signed by Da Coach himself...29 years later!  That kinda blows my mind.  The excitement in my dad's voice when he was wearing the signed jacket cannot be described.  The light in his eyes when he first saw it really made my heart happy.  The entire experience was priceless!

My mom once told me, "God knew what He was doing when He made you a Bears fan.  He knew that I wasn't into football like your dad, so He made sure someone would be able to watch football with him."  I'm reminded through this, that God makes all things perfect.  I don't even know my love for the sport happened, to be honest.  I guess growing up hearing my dad yell "Sack!" at the TV had something to do with it.  So strange how random memories stick with you, and that one was enough to influence me.  If you've ever watched a football game with me, I tend to do the same.  Like father, like daughter and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Bear down.

morning glory

As some of you may know, I conducted my own personal challenge of not only finding God in everything in life but really understanding His message for me each day.  It’s funny how I started to see Him in the little, almost mundane, objects and scenarios of the day.  My senses were heightened for His word and as a result, I noticed how much God really loves me.  If you’d like to follow the journey for 30 days, feel free to read from the beginning.  Inspiration and explanation of the project can be found here.  You can also check it out on my Tumblr if that platform is your cup of tea.  Feel free to follow or subscribe for future blogs while you're at it!

The project is technically over, but the practice to see Him in all things has only begun.  While doing my 30 Days of Mystagogia project, I was at the same time on a personal retreat.  I joined my friend in doing the 33 Days to Morning Glory so as to consecrate myself to Jesus through Mother Mary.  Today, the Memorial of Our Lady of the Rosary, is actually my consecration day (yay!)  33 Days to Morning glory deserves its own blog someday, but for now I’d like to share an affirmation I received on doing my Mystagogia Project.

On Day 19, the chapter was about Blessed Mother Teresa’s “spiritual sensitivity” and how she saw God in all things.  First of all, Mother Teresa is my homegirl.  She really has made her presence known in my life for the past five years in service, and she never fails to remind me on how to be a better missionary.  Regarding her “Spiritual Sensitivity,” she followed the example of Mother Mary who was always “pondering in her heart” the good things God was doing in her life.  Blessed Mother Teresa found God in the details and pondered on His goodness.  She found Him in all things and reflected deeply on the many signs of His love.  Same Spirit!!!  Totes did that with this 30 Days of Mystagogia project, and it’s just affirming knowing that someone like her has done it too (minus the blogging and with deeper faith, I’m sure).  I look up to Blessed Mother Teresa in my spiritual journey, and she did this as an imitation of Mother Mary, which is what I’m trying to do too.  Ahhh so many affirmations all around it’s just crazy!

Been guided on this journey that has now turned into a new lifestyle.  Thank you, Lord, for reminding me to seek You in all things.  May this be an example others may follow, so they too may see Your goodness and ponder Your grace and love in their hearts.

We face so many trials every day, but when we take a closer look, we will see the greater amount of blessings we are showered with constantly.  Perk up your ears, focus your eyes.  You will see God communicating with you all the time J

one thing remains

At mass this morning, the kids did the cutest hand motions to the song "One Thing Remains" by Jesus Culture.  The motions were done to the chorus:

"One thing remains: Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me."

Reflecting on the events over the last few days, I can really say that God's love really doesn't run out on me.  There are prayers answered in ways I wish were different, but that doesn't mean His love for me has failed.  It never runs out.  He just keeps pouring and I keep failing to love Him back.  Instead I keep asking and begging and doubting.

Well yesterday, during the feast of our Guardian Angels, God sure showed me something that said, "Ok, for REAL, Maricris???!  You think I've failed you now??"  Yeah.  He let my angels kick my ass but in a good way.  I wish I could elaborate, but I can't even begin to explain it.  I wish someone was next to me to witness it, but it's real.

Trust.

So one thing remains, when you think that God has failed you.  His love never runs out.  It just keeps pouring out endlessly.  It comes in forms we don't expect.  Sometimes it is really obvious, other times not so much.  Whether you see it or not, it's there.  God's love is always there.  Oh, and so are your angels ;)

When you have time, check out the song: One Thing Remains