hard hearts

I had a Sundate with Jesus this morning.  The first message I received was, "If today you hear God's voice, harden not your hearts."  The first time this verse really struck and stuck with me was back in 2012, during the Intimacy Weekend Retreat I served.  Since then, I've tried my best to really be sensitive to His voice and not just choose my own desires over His overall plan.  All this "obedience" led me to asking Him, "What's it all for?"

Don't get me wrong, I can already hear the voices of the many friends and family that will tell me, "Maricris, God has great plans.  We just have to trust in Him."

I love you all, and I get it.  But in my humanity I couldn't help but ask Him that.  All the things we do to live a righteous, holy life.  All the things we do to keep our hearts guarded for God's love alone.  It's a formula for a life of true happiness.  I know that.  I understand that.  But sometimes, I can't help but stop and wonder what MORE He has planned for me.  Yes, I will of course dwell in His presence and wait patiently.  I will continue to live my life pleasing to Him.  I will continue to work hard in my prayer time, service, work, and love for everyone around me.  I will continue to keep my heart open despite these moments when I want to just take control of situations in life.  I will continue to listen for His voice.

But is it okay that sometimes I just ask, "Lord...what's this for?"