Tuesday, June 16, 2015


Some may say it was only a pre-conference, but yesterday's SFC event left a darn good imprint in my heart.  I left the venue feeling refreshed, as if I had just experienced a weekend retreat.  From the preparation, to the activities, to the talk, and all the competitions...it all lead us to know and understand God's love for us in a deeper way.  Mass was clutch.  I had a heart filled with joy throughout mass, and I was smiling and slightly tearing as I approached Him in the sacrament of the Eucharist.  I felt overwhelmed with joy and peace.  I prayed, "Lord, I am open to Your love."

And His love soon came pouring down on me about three minutes after I left mass.  It's not in the way one would picture an outpouring of love.  It wasn't in rainbows and butterflies.  It wasn't even in cute babies or puppies.  Nope...His love came down on me through a call for more work.  There is truly no rest for the weary.  A retreat "high" so short lived...I think it made history.  At least in my heart.

Really, Lord?  More?  I was just trying to enjoy the moment and Your Love.

And He replied, "Yes.  Love More."

I could go on and describe the next twenty four hours of my life but let me spare you the details of this emotional roller coaster.  Instead let me share my "pause" moment.  A "pause" moment, as defined by me, is that time where God tells me to shhhhhh.....be quiet.

It happened this afternoon at School on Wheels.  I volunteer to tutor homeless children once a month.  Summer is here, so the number of kids was a lot less than I am used to, and there were more volunteers there than I've ever seen before (which is good!).  Anyway, that said, I was able to just hang out and give attention to just one student (instead of the three or four we usually get at one time).  The situation today was that she wasn't feeling well.  I'm convinced she caught the flu, so her energy level was pretty low.  She wanted to color, try a crossword puzzle, and play games with me, so there was enough in her to make some effort in enjoying the afternoon.  At one point, we were reading, and I knew I just lost her attention.  I didn't want to feel like I was wasting my time, so I asked her, "Is there something else you wanted to do?"  She replied "No, you can just read to me."  I was hesitant because it didn't seem like she really cared for the story, but I continued the book we were reading anyway.

I don't know her "story".  I don't know her background.  All I know is that this girl was not feeling well, and I'm sure she just wanted to go home....but what does she call home?  These families are in temporary shelters, hotel/motels, or living out of their cars.  My heart aches thinking that she can't go "home" and crawl into the comfort of her own bed.  I don't know where she is sleeping tonight.

I was so pre-occupied in my mind with the million things I had to do...I didn't take enough time to stop and think of what this girl really needed.  At the moment, she just wanted someone to sit and read to her.  She just needed comfort.

And this is when God said "pause".

I paused.  I smiled at the girl to help her feel comfortable.  I read and she listened.

In my busy-ness, I forget HOW to Love More.  I've been too worried about making sure everyone knows about the theme of all of our conferences this year, that it has blinded me to actually DO.

Thank you, Lord, for blessing me with your love through service.  Thank you, Lord, for teaching me how to love a little more today.  In all that we do, may it be for Your glory.


No comments:

Post a Comment