Wednesday, August 11, 2010

exit signs

Every building has an exit door.  Every building has an emergency exit too.  When things get really rough, God seems to always show me the way to the emergency exit right when I need it.  However, He always points me to the exit when I feel lost and can't seem to find it.  I get sucked in by the crowd.  I get distracted by other signs.  I want to go out through the entrance.  I'm just a mess sometimes, but then the moment comes when my prayers of "Lord, where do I go?" are heard and the bright sign that says "exit" leads me home.

But then sometimes I wonder...did I really want to leave?  Was I meant to spend more time in the crowd, mess, and chaos?  Well even when I leave, on my own will, God leads me back.  He sometimes leads me back to the mess because I haven't learned my lesson yet, but sometimes He leads me out in the clear because it's finally time.  Sometimes it's in my pride and stubborn attitude that I go back.

Now it's just a matter of discerning where I'm supposed to go now.  He led me out because He loves me and answers prayers, but is it what His will is?  I mean I am so confused - I don't know what I'm praying for.  God knows though, so I'm not sure if He's made right what I'm making so complicated.  I know in my heart I want to stay where I am.  I know it hurts, but I want to be near what and who I love.  But maybe God doesn't want me to hurt anymore and He's saying "'ve been looking for an out - here you go!"  To stay or to go.  Am I going to wait for another emergency exit, or can I take the safe route?  I heard from a friend, "You can listen to your heart, but sometimes the heart is wrong!  Listen to the Sacred Heart."

Exit signs are just entrance signs to a new world.

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