True happiness is found in Christ alone. Our love and trust in Christ is based on faith. Faith is never certain, rather it is in the trust of the beholder.
Therefore, true happiness is found in uncertainty. Well, this is my own conclusion.
There are things that don't make sense. You are where you are for a reason, but you wonder, "When am I gonna get out of here?" Why we are where we are is only known to God. I ask Him to make straight my path, but that doesn't mean the path will be easy to travel. Aside from the darkness, He gives me something heavy to carry. Something about a cross, He said.
Well...here I am, walking the path He has placed before me and carrying this wooden beam. I wonder where He will take me. I wonder when I'll need to cross a ditch and the cross will help me get to the other side. I wonder when this happiness He has for me will come. Did I pass it and not realize it? Was it in the darkness or distraction from my GPS that I missed a turn?
He says he loves me. He says that I should let my guard down and stop assuming the worst. I don't know anymore.
He says I do good work. He says that I will only get more experience with this move. I don't know anymore.
There are so many things I do not know. So much uncertainty in my life right now. But with faith, I must believe Christ is in all things. I must believe that He has this planned out and I'm just being impatient. I must believe that He has happiness waiting for me.
I must believe.