true colors

A dollar is a dollar.  A rose is a rose.  I am me.  Flip me inside out, color my hair orange (oh wait, I think I did that in '99), or look at me upside down, and you will see the same person in all ways.  I'm not one to act a "certain" way depending on who's around.  My motto is, "I try my best (that's my caveat) to act as if I were around my grandma Gene."  This is more realistic to me than "God is watching from above" (though I do believe that to be true).  If she were to see what I was wearing, how I danced, or how much I drank, would she be happy?  Not always.  But maybe sometimes she'd see that I could be trusted.  This means that I'm not perfect, and I am who I am.  There's no need for pretensions.  There's no need for me to hide behind a mask.  People say I wear my emotions on my sleeve, and that's probably true most of the time.  That said, how I say I feel is most likely how I really feel.  Is that an absurd concept?

I found that there have been times when people think I should feel one way or another about certain situations, and when I don't, they think I'm hiding my real feelings.  Actually, how I react may not be how you react - but that doesn't mean that what I feel isn't real.  I don't react the same way as you do sometimes.  I'm sorry to break it to you.  I'm not feeling how you want me to feel because in all honesty I don't really care most of the time.  I care about your feelings if it's in regards to you or a personal situation you are in, but when it comes to what you feel about me - I only partially care.  I say partially because I'm human and I'm a girl.  Of course I'm going to care a little bit about what you think or say.  Does it stay on my shoulder?  Sometimes a little longer than I wish, but I've learned in life that in the words of Jay-Z, "Brush your shoulders off."  So when I don't care, I really don't care.

Now remember, when I say "I", I'm speaking in a "you, understood" manner.  I don't know who "I" is.

Anyway, you know me.  You knew me the moment we met.  If you think you don't know me anymore, then....it's true what they say....you don't know.  You've seen my true colors.  I will let it shine whether you like it or not.