the journey

For any of you that may have missed it in previous posts, I decided my theme this Advent would be to "Enjoy the Journey".  The past few weeks, God has taught me to be more patient, to truly be more faithful, and to love more.  Fitting as my overall theme for 2014 was "Love More" (and yes, this was before the CFC theme was released...yay same Spirit!)  But I digress.  Each week I had a subtheme that would help me grow and guided this journey.  I learned to "empty myself", "receive joy", and "listen in silence."  Funny enough, I don't have a blog about my silence, but it truly was a fruitful time.

Lord, You have prepared me for this year.  33 is not one that I fear but a year I'm excited to embrace.  As 2014 comes to a close, rather than recollecting the past 365 days, I want to reflect on my Advent journey.  It's the nth day of Christmas, and the Spirit is still singing and dwelling in me.  Tis the season to celebrate Jesus and His birth!  Looking back on the past month, I can see how God transformed me when I let Him.  He stretched my heart and taught me more about faith, hope, and love.  He covered me in an ocean of His mercy.  In the few weeks alone, Jesus has reminded me the importance of every moment in history.  From His mother's first "yes" to finally finding a home in a manger, I can see the journey of your coming was difficult but worth it.

I just need to enter Christmastime with an eye of innocence.  Doesn't mean to be a child and ask for everything on the shelf.  Nope, it means to embrace truth with the eyes of faith that can be found in children.  That dependency on our parents to nurture and care for us is similar to how Jesus depended on His parents for food and shelter.  Part of the journey is complete trust in the one who can see further than you.

The journey for me has just begun.  Fitting as Advent rings in the new year, my "new beginnings" have already begun.  I have been praying for a theme for 2015, but I think this really will follow me into next year.  I don't know what's to come, but I will remember the words I shared with Jesus on the stroke of midnight as my birthday came..."Lord, You have prepared me for this year."

I have faith, hope, and trust in His love and mercy that He will guide me for what's to come.

music and joy

My subtheme for Advent this week is "Receive JOY".  Last week I had to learn to empty myself in order to receive Jesus...and now this week I need to learn to take Him in and let Him live in my heart.   He's always trying to give me gifts of Joy but I keep ignoring the packages because I'm caught up in my own web of "drama".  I can't "enjoy the journey" of Advent moping around.  It just doesn't work that way.  I need to find joy in the life God has given me, and the situations He puts me through.  This morning in adoration, I practically begged to be filled with that Joy.  "Lord, help me feel that happiness you want me to feel.  Let me not care or worry about the things out of my control.  Let me feel joy so I may rejoice in You this advent season."

God does not delay.

Hours later, He not only planted that joy in my heart but it was OVERFLOWING.  I went to Blessed Sacrament Church in Hollywood today for an Audrey Assad concert.  She was aMAzing.  It was a true night of worship, and every song she sang brought tears in my eyes.  I was just happy to experience music so beautiful in Church...in the true presence of God, with the Blessed Sacrament behind her.  I felt sincere joy.  But the cherry on top was seeing my Caritas family.  I went on retreat with this amazing group over a year ago, and seeing some of them for the first time since then just brought back all these memories.  The most important memory I found and felt was the peace I left the retreat with.  There was something so life-changing about that weekend, that I can't even explain it...yet I felt that Spirit of peace and change fill my heart again. Seeing them was just wonderful, even if I was not able to catch up with all of them .  Again, my heart was not only full but bursting out uncontrollably with joy.

Thank you, Lord, for filling me with JOY so I may continue to rejoice with the rest of the Church.  Even if you didn't give me the concert and my Caritas reunion, I know I'd still be happy....but not like this.  You know the way to my heart through music.  You really know how to fill my heart, and I can only remember to do the same for you always.  In a world where we get caught up in our own problems, are we wise in remembering God for all He's done for us?  Do we bring God joy by the way we live our lives?

_____________________________

For a taste of Audrey Assad, check out this song "Good to Me".  It was one of my favorites from tonight's set.  Enjoy!

make room

Saturday night, as I reflected before bed, I knew that I had to make this Advent fruitful.  Lord, how can I make it different this year?  Last week, I heard Your message..."Enjoy the journey."  Every day I had to tell myself to be present in the moment and take in every minute that the Lord has blessed me with.  See Him in everything and feel His presence and hand in it all.

This second week of Advent, He reminded me to "Be Empty."  How can I prepare my heart in welcoming Baby Jesus if it's filled with worry and other crazy thoughts?  I need to make room for Him!!!  I can't have Mary and Joseph walking around from heart to heart this season where I, myself, will reply with "There's no room at the inn."  Noooo I need to make room.  But then I prayed about the "how" of it all.  HOW do I make room for Jesus?  I was affirmed at mass today when the gospel was about St. John the Baptist reminding us to prepare the way of the Lord.  Make the rough places plain and the crooked road straight.  I am practicing the art of "letting go."  I have to remind myself about what's important and to focus on just making sure I allow God to be the first and foremost in my life.  I have to acknowledge how much He blesses and loves me.

Today I made room in my heart so I could find JOY in Jesus.  I really tried my best to not let the worries of life get to me and to enjoy the moments around me in the present.  I wanted to make sure I was aware of the things He was giving me and filling my heart with (since I was trying to make more room for Him).  Not only did He bless me with something I wanted, but He reminded me that He's a god of MORE and showered me with just that.

I know this is silly, but today I wanted to meet Baymax (from the movie Big Hero Six) when I went to Disneyland.  He was basically the only character on my bucketlist for the day that I really wanted to meet.  After running through the park and getting in line only minutes before they closed it off, I recognized that I got my chance!!  I just kept praying that Baymax wouldn't "run out of battery" ;)

My experience meeting him was soooo amazing, my friend had to ask me, "You know he's not real right?"  And I just smiled at him and replied...."No, he's real!"

Sometimes it's okay to have this crazy innocence of a kid where you believe all the magic and wonder that you want.  I let my imagination run wild.  I wanted to tell him "Hey, I met you and wanted to hug you but you couldn't hug me back...so may I please have my hug now???"  But I didn't considering I hugged a standee in the lobby at work.  Crazy me, I know!  But I was squealing, jumping, and super giddy as we kept moving closer to him in the line.  Finally I had my chance to fist bump and HUG him (and he hugged me back!)  It was amAzing.

You have no idea how excited I was.  No idea.

But guess what...?  The cherry on top was that I didn't just meet Baymax and Hiro....I got to meet two other characters that I absolutely LOVE: Mickey Mouse AND Santa Claus!!!!

Yes, the child in me erupted and I was overflowing with happiness today.  I gave Jesus room in my heart and He filled it with so much joy.  No room for worry or sadness...He was moving that old furniture out and replacing it with his shiny, brand new ones!

Enjoy the journey and continue to empty yourself to make room for Jesus.  He's ready to fill you with things that will make your heart happy.  Even if it's on a smaller scale such as a delicious dessert or rockstar parking, you won't recognize any of it if your heart is filled with junk.  Dump it, clean it, and be open to receiving the many moments of happiness He wants to give to you (and that you truly deserve!)

Thank you, Jesus.  I'm sleeping with sweet dreams tonight!

slow cook

Happy New Year!  Happy first day of the Advent season.  Ohhhh, Advent...a time of waiting.  A time of anticipation.  I love Christmastime.  I love the buildup not only for the holiday but most especially for the birth of Christ.  There is always something exciting about preparing for His coming.  Just as parents prepare their homes for the coming of their newborn, we should prepare our hearts for Baby Jesus!

This past weekend, my slow cooker has seen more action than it has in a long time.  I made a few Thanksgiving meals in it, and the longer it took the tastier it turned out.  I made bbq pulled pork one night and everyone enjoyed it (phew!).  The next night, I decided to make more and bring it to my other party.  I figured that I already knew what to do (plus I had extra ingredients that I didn't want to waste), so it'd be easiest.  I also decided to revise my schedule a bit.  I knew that marinating the pork longer would make it not only more tender, but tastier.  Yes, the slower the process, the better it turns out.  So 7 hours we wait for the creation to be finished, and *boom* the second group of guinea pigs enjoyed it just as much (if not more) than the first.  Woot woot, success!

God marinates us with grace, wisdom, and knowledge so many times in our lives and we just have to let it sit in our hearts sometimes before we see anything come of it.  Not all of God's work happens slowly, but when it does - there's a reason.  He always has the most perfect time, and after working with us for many years, He knows the science behind how long some prayers need.  Sometimes it's a quick turnaround, many times we sit and wait.  This is the part I hate most because just like times I have food in a slow cooker - I get hungry and want to eat it right away.  However, I know I have to wait it out so it tastes yummy.  I want to move on something God has answered in my life, but I know I have to wait it out so everything falls into place perfectly.

Advent is a time of waiting, a time of preparing.  In the meantime, let us sit and soak in God's love.  Just as I poked holes in the pork so it could better soak in the juices, I pray I am open not only in my mind but in my heart in order to take in all the Jesus juice as well.  Have faith that it's all to make the end result something so delicious and satisfying.

3, 2, 1...go!

"You can't win if you don't race!" - Tow Mater of Carsland

Yes, I'm quoting from a ride in California Adventure.  Tow Mater's got it right!  There have been many situations where someone tells me a goal they have in life, but when I ask what they're doing to achieve it...they say they haven't done anything!  How do you expect to get anywhere if you don't move?  God gives us grace and blessing each day, but He also give us free will.  That said, we have to move our butts from off the couch and do something.  Things don't always land in our laps unexpetedly.  Whether it's updating your resume for a new job you want, asking a girl you've had your eye on out on a date, or starting that "more vegetables, less junk food" diet...you need to physically do something to get results.  Even in our relationship with God, we ask why He doesn't seem to work more in our lives.  Sometimes it takes us saying "yes" and doing something for Him first, in order for His plans to work and come to life.  Strengthen our prayer time.  Say "yes" to more service.

Do something.  Race.  Soon you will find yourself crossing the finish line faster than you can say, "Ka-Chow!"  I'll see you on the course :)

unexpected call

Last night, my dear sister friends reminded me that we need to be specific with God when we pray.  Despite having already blogged about it, I still forget that detail sometimes.  I went to bed thinking about what I needed to pray for specifically.

Night passes, dreams are dreamt.

This morning as I was getting into my car, I noticed a heart shaped charm on the ground next to my door.  It was my St. Anthony charm!  How did it fall off my keyring?  I checked the link to see if it was broken or loose, but it was shut pretty tight.  That said, I knew it was a check-in from my heavenly friend.  He was trying to get my attention to pray for his intercession today, so I had a good one-on-one session with him at mass.  I also shared his "phone call" with my sister friends in case they needed a nudge to chat with him today too.

Click here to learn more, but note that St. Anthony of Padua is the patron saint of lost articles.  A while back, I heard something funny about single people asking St. Anthony to find their "lost [future] spouse".  I thought that maybe that's why he was tapping me, so I said a quick prayer for "him" (wherever and whomever he is).  I know it's silly, but hey - God has a sense of humor!

Anyway, later on I felt like it was more than that.  I prayed with the intention to find my faith and hope in God again.  Not that it was lost, but if I really break down my conversations with God, it's lacking.  Today God told me, "Stop acting like you know My plans.  You don't even know, so stop anticipating My next move.  Maricris, I am God.  You are not.  I love you more than you love yourself.  Have a little faith and trust in Me that I know what's going on."  [See how Jesus only asks for a little faith??  #mustardseedfaith]

He goes on and on but it's a bit more personal, so I'll skip a few sentences ;)

Then He continues, "Don't you believe in My Love for you?  Just as I came as a child to St. Anthony, come as a child to Me.  Let Me carry you through this.  Let Me love and hold you.  Rely on me."

So with a sincere heart and a specific request through the St. Anthony prayer, I really asked to find hope and faith in God in all things.  I want to have the courage to trust and the peace to understand something unknown.  It really went hand in hand with today's gospel - Luke 18: 35-43.

Jesus asked him, "What do you want me to do for you?"  He replied, "Lord, please let me see."  Jesus told him, "Have sight; your faith has saved you."  He immediately received his sight and followed him, giving glory to God.  When they saw this, all the people gave praise to God.

"Lord, please let me see."  That is my prayer.

The night continues, and I catch up with a good friend at dinner time.  As we were chatting, she says point blank to me, "Have faith and hope.  Trust in God."  She didn't know about my prayer time at mass today, so that was enough for me to "see" that I'm on the right track.  God's love is obvious and I need to start acting grateful for it :P

That early morning "phone call" from heaven was not wasted.  Through St. Anthony, Jesus heard my prayer and answered me.  St. Anthony helped me "find" my way and the words I was looking for from God.  I also read this, which affirms his strong presence for me today:  "St. Anthony of Padua's life is what every Christian's life is meant to be; a steady courage to face the ups and downs of life, the call to love and forgive, to be concerned for the needs of others, to deal with crisis great and small, and to have our feet solidly on the ground of total trusting love and dependence on God."

Thank you, Jesus.  Thank you, St. Anthony.  To all my heavenly homies - you know who you are....thank you.

That was a quick answer to my prayer, but I wouldn't want to have it any other way.

dance, dance

I'm going to be sore in the morning.  I haven't danced like that in sO long!  Tonight was the "God's Great Dance Floor" Fundraiser for ANCOP and we all really just had a great time.  The cause is important to me, so I really wanted to be there for the event.  Heard we hired a DJ and that was enough to get me excited because I had been wanting to go dancing for a long time.  I love groovin' like no one is watching.  I'm not talking about gettin' all freeeeaky like no one be watchin' yo (though I admit that's fun once in a while lol).  I'm talking, "Coachella" dancing when you're just spinning around and singing along to the song...no care in the world!

But sometimes I find myself dancing in a group where my "festival" dancing doesn't work.  Trust me, I already bumped into plenty of people...whoops!  Sometimes you have to dance with a partner.  OYE.  The Lord knows that has been hard for me for a long time, but I absolutely love watching couples who do it.  I'm envious but I know I just need to learn some day.  Salsa, Cha-Cha, Swing, etc...takes a certain kind of skill in me that I don't seem to have.  Some say I do, maybe I just haven't learned properly.  Who knows.  Shake dem hips, gurrrrl....

But God taught me that in a similar way, He leads me on His dance floor, and I'm just to follow.  I may stumble and step on His toes once in a while, but it's okay.  He spins me around and I have no idea what  I'm doing, but there's a natural beat - a natural "next step" that comes to play and I just go with it.  I find myself dancing to His beat and it works out well.  I admit, in the beginning I'm scared.  I'd rather know what I'm doing.  I'm all about the choreographed dances....but sometimes someone has to just know what to do and just lead you.  Then I'll just follow.  If you have the right teacher,  you'll get it.  God is the perfect dancer and I am learning to just go along with it.  Sometimes I want to do my own thaaang, but at the same time I'm not trying to make Him look like a fool, so I go along.  He knows the right moves to the right song...I'll just let Him swing and twirl me around, and I'll smile :)